been a few days. i've been thinking really hard about stuff still, every time i go to therapy i don't get to cover it all, its sort of like how getting good at reading yourself internally the more you will notice for good and bad XD

my OC page is under construction, potentially i could finish it up now and use a bunch of existing images of my characters as they all have refs. but like a lot of things here i am thinking this is a great oppurtunity to organise these things as i go! so i am starting work on remaking and updating a bunch of refsheets.

this has incentivised a lot of archival work BTS that im sure i have touched on before. i am pretty sad that a lot of my old art ~2013-2020 is motly not dated directly due to a backlog of non exports, though i do know roughly where everything places contextually. it has been a big problem for me and my storage space that i have finally made some progress on.

the more recent stuff/already exported though has been a neat experiment, where with my blog and gallery dating it is an important part of the process, i wanted to gague how much art i make a month for optimization concerns, but i am ending up very much enjoying having my personal art folders be dated by month, i have upkeep problems with gallery sorting so having them in trackable chunks like this is very convinient. additionally strenghthens my sense of time.

my GF made me tea, and i have super cleaned up my room! it feels pretty nice.

been kinda out of it still, making an effort to go outside more now that the weather is swinging up

or i guess that was a week ago moreso, i am always working on something. Recently i had a storage space scare so i have been spending a ton of time archiving old files into photos. little 14yo me never had to deal with space managment before and its not like your art goes away unless you are deleting or losing your devices, keep on top of it now!

making this site and also getting on top of keeping track of my finances proporly this year has given me a big formatting interest, ...yes i am autistic and i already like sorting but its like learning how to do it in a way that benifits me and cleans up my spaces! a year or so ago i got super into room cleaning and organization for what i think is similar reasons.

otherwise i have been grappling a lot with gender and identity, it's a scary time to be trans and i feel pretty alienated from most spaces currently. i altered my dragon fursona's design and i am super in love with it right now! i have been itching to post it here but i still have to set up my gallery, i may work on that after this post.

i also picked up a cute little mini ice cube tray the other day and have been making frozen juice snacks, like a snowcone! i froze some pepsi overnight today so i will see if thats any good.

looks like one of the last days of march, condemning these pages to start of site limbo complaining, LOL.

I try not to do that a lot but when i pull this up to start typing it gets me in that essayist vlog mindset, and because im currently Doing this, inevitably the feelings leak in.

I had a really great day today, me and my girlfriend went thrifting and i found a pair of pants i really like. lots of big feelings about clothes boiling over the past few months, more relevant than ever with like- - post winter undissociation revelations and experiments... we all gotta live.

had kind of an evil day yesterday, i thought more about the tumblr thing. i don't think i want to stop being there yet but i think i am done posting art and reblogging. stripping it back text post and announcement style.

IDK ivve been kind of going through it. feeling better today though and i am hopeful, gettin stuff done here :] there are only so many times spring can fake you out right?

I do not actually have anything ready up to put here, it has just been eating at me not having it ready. so this is my now formal test post.



My relationship with social media is feeling complicated and fragile right now, theres this sort of site joke where tumblr users will tolerate any change, but that gets twisted from comradere into peer pressure the moment it gets hurtful, like the transfemme banwaves.

it sort of sucks that it took them removing essential functionality for me to get dissilussioned by this, but it made me stop and think about what i really wanted out of there anyway.

i had (have?) been on there for 7 years and i still don't feel fulfilled by it socially, i've met good people there but its dark days for making friends, this is a very run on way of saying i am bringing intentionality towards my own presence and how i interact with others.

who even knows if this will be any better!! at least its ALL MINE!

(image for test reasons)

end of the line